By the Rev. Kathleen Walker
At the end of September, I was given an amazing opportunity to join the pilgrimage to Botswana. It was scheduled as a 12-day journey to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Diocese of Botswana. It is a relatively young diocese inside a fairly new country. Botswana has been an independent nation since 1966. They had a number of celebrations scheduled throughout the time we were there, and yet, in the midst of so much exuberance, there was great longing for what more could be.
We arrived on Saturday afternoon, and the following day all visiting clergy from our diocese were assigned to preach in one of the local churches. I felt a great sense of honor to preach in an African church in the motherland. We were told they expected us to preach moderately long sermons, taking care to avoid American colloquialism that would not translate well into Setswana. I was dispatched to St. Paul’s in the town of Molepolole. It was a lovely service, and the translator was terrific, except for the fact that when I said the word Episcopalian, he was lost. Once I substituted the word Anglican, we were back on track and continued with the sermon in two languages.
When communion began, I was invited to help serve the bread, and it took me a while to realize that my line was getting longer and longer. When I considered that people were waiting to come to my side of the altar, particularly the women, I thought they were excited to have a guest preacher. Following communion, we offered healing prayers, and members of the congregation were invited to come forward for a blessing. Many of the women gravitated to my side. In that moment, admittedly, I did not understand why some of them did not move to the shorter line. Later, back at our retreat center, as other clergy women were talking about their experiences, we realized that women in Botswana longed to see women clergy and, because the ordination of women has been forbidden until now, they were very excited to see their sisters at the altar.
We were also informed that there are currently 10 women who have completed their seminary studies and are waiting in hope that they will one day be ordained. When one of the women asked me, “What does it feel like to be a Reverend Father?” I was truly touched. There is no such title as “Mother” in the Anglican church in Botswana. I thought about how we take so many things for granted in life. Suddenly, there was a wave of memories that came flooding back to the day of my own ordination, the promises I made to God and the sheer exuberance of the moment. I remembered how I longed to become a postulant and how it had taken 11 years between the time I first expressed a desire to discern a call and when I finally departed Miami for seminary. In the waiting time, I wondered if I had really heard a call from God or if it was just a dream to become a priest. The women of Botswana, however, have not lost hope, and they refuse to abandon their desire to become ordained clergy one day so that they may serve God in the manner in which they feel called.
[Image: In Botswana, as in other desert nations, the people’s longing for water parallels Christians’ longing for the coming of the Lord in Advent.]
LONGING, FAITH AND HOPE
Longing can take on any number of reactions. Some become very impatient. In ancient Israel, when the Israelites were waiting for the return of the Messiah, some grew weary, and others lost faith. Some thought that Jesus would return sooner rather than later. As time went on, doubt set in with a great sense of abandonment. So how do you live in the moment of longing without losing your belief that Jesus always delivers what is promised?
When Jesus told the disciples that he would return, he said, “But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. For as the days of Noah were, so will be the coming of the Son of Man” (Matthew 24:35-37). We are, therefore, left longing, and, while we wait, we are called to prepare for God’s return and to remain watchful.
In this season of Advent, we find ourselves once again longing for any number of things. We are waiting and watching for the return of Jesus, our savior. We are also reflecting on how we will be delivered from the stress that controls so much of our existence. We are longing to set down the burdens of the world. We are hoping that a day is coming when love will lead and guide all people into a place of peace and into a world filled with equality and equity; a place where we will study war no more.
Surely the day is coming when all people who feel called to ordained ministry will have every opportunity to be considered. The women of Botswana will not be denied forever.
As we prepare in Advent for the season of Christmas, we must pay particular attention to those things that we want to work on and improve upon. As the canon missioner for Black ministries, I long to help elevate the African American congregations in this diocese to a place where their mission is clearly visible in each of their communities. I long to offer the resources that give all congregations an opportunity to thrive in ways in which they have seen their brothers and sisters flourish since the inception of the Diocese of North Carolina. Longing propels us to action.
LONGING AND WAITING
It must be understood that dreaming and longing are two distinctly different things. Consider that dreams are generally created in the mind while you are sleeping. Longing is defined as an earnest and deep desire for something. In this season, about what are you dreaming, and for what are you longing?
Throughout my journey in Botswana, the proud people we encountered were longing for many things, especially water. Water is the central focus of concern because they live in a desert, and the rainy season comes one month a year. The dominant color of the flag is blue to illustrate their prayers and their desire to get enough water from rain each year to take care of themselves and their animals. Creation care is clearly elevated in their land, where goats and cows roam free. Pula, which is their currency, is the translated word for rain in Setswana. Their longing has centered the nation on one priority that can mean the difference between sufficiency and calamity.
In the Gospel of Mark, John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness to proclaim a baptism of repentance. John was the advance team sent ahead to let people know that the one they had been seeking was on the way. The people who were in the stage of longing wanted to accept John as the savior for whom they had been waiting. John had to reassure them that their longing would be fulfilled, but they needed to get ready. They needed to prepare their hearts. They needed to be baptized in order to be brand new. They needed to get their houses in order. John admonished them that while he baptized with water, “The one who is coming will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”
In the end, the trip to Botswana was a reminder that longing is universal, however different our needs may be. What is important is that we truly feel the presence of God as we seek to accomplish the preparatory tasks before us. As the women of Botswana prepare and wait for their day of ordination, one can sense their joy for how God has supported them thus far. Like Maya Angelou says, “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer and let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”
In this holy season, may we all prepare and patiently wait for the Lord who will answer our longings in due season.
The Rev. Kathleen Walker is the canon missioner for Black ministries for the Diocese of North Carolina.
