Disciple: New Habits
Incorporating Go Speak and Invite.Welcome.Connect into everyday church life
By Christine McTaggart
Go Speak: Sharing our Faith and Invite.Welcome.Connect are two programs introduced in the last few years to give churches tools to help their members go deeper in relationship with each other and to learn to be comfortable sharing their faith. Several congregations not only participated in the dedicated events coordinated by the Diocese, but also have since incorporated the programs and their concepts into everyday church life.
GO SPEAK: UNFREEZING THE FEAR
Trinity, Statesville, first tried Go Speak when introduced to the Diocese in 2014, and the congregation enthusiastically responded. The church had a history of using the theology category of “Table Topics,” a game with a similar conversational format, but many planning to attend the Go Speak evening admitted that because of the focus on sharing faith, they “were not looking forward to it” and expected to be “out of the comfort zone.” By the end of the evening, however, those same participants acknowledged they had, in fact, enjoyed it and the structure of the program was very helpful.
“I think it unfroze some folks a bit,” said the Rev. Brad Mullis, rector of Trinity. “It took away some of the fear [of sharing faith], and it helped some folks see that their experience was authentic and valued.”
Since 2014, Trinity has continued to use Go Speak in different ways. It’s been used at a vestry retreat to engage in conversation and promote new ideas. Most recently, Trinity offered a Go Speak evening around a parish supper, combining the unity of a communal meal with the intimacy of breakout sharing sessions.
Mullis said one of the special things Go Speak reveals to participants is that one’s experience “may not always look religious in the stained-glass way we think it should, but God was there in that experience. And in listening, you hear other folks may have experienced God in ways that may echo the way you experience God.”
GO SPEAK: HEARING NEIGHBORS
Calvary and St. Luke’s, Tarboro, have long been two Episcopal congregations close in proximity, located within blocks of each other and sharing clergy and a website. But with histories that date back hundreds of years and have weathered social storms and changes not unique to the region, the two have maintained separate identities for generations and were content to do so.
Until Go Speak.
When the program was introduced in 2014, both churches wanted to take part. Separate events were planned, but they worked together to provide a chance for all to be included, including youth and those confined to homes or nursing facilities. Established relationships between parishioners were set aside to “mix things up” and introduce new relationships and make the night more impactful. By the night of the dinners, more parishioners participated than generally attend services on Sunday.
As expected, those who attended the dinners enjoyed their time together, but it was the lasting impact that has shown the power of sharing faith.
According to the Rev. Janey Wilson, rector of Calvary and vicar at St. Luke’s, Go Speak allowed folks to learn things about each other in a town where everybody knows everything about everybody.
“[It] reminded us that if we really care for one another, going deeper is the thing to do. Finding that out opens our hearts to look outside our community and be more welcoming.”
The welcoming began with each other and expanded from there. Since experiencing Go Speak, the two congregations have started sharing worship space, as Sunday services alternate between locations throughout the summer. Calvary launched a backpack program and adopted a middle school only blocks from the church. Young adults now get together at the local pub for a drink and conversations on faith.
“Go Speak was a real turning point [for us] in terms of how we go forward,” said Wilson. “We’re listening more deeply. We’ve been welcoming new families and doing a better job of it. [Go Speak] has given us a common vocabulary, which at the end of the day is as much about Christian formation as it is about community building.”
Indeed, Go Speak continues to have a presence in Calvary and St. Luke’s church life as part of their Christian formation offerings. But its true incorporation has been in the effects of taking part in it rather than the program itself. Since that first dinner, parishioners at Calvary and St. Luke’s listen deeper and are growing together.
“We may not have shared the same stories [that night],” said Wilson, “but we all shared the experience.”
WELCOME HOME
When Oxford native Jerry Broyal returned in 2013 to care for an aging parent, he was interested in finding a church home after many years away. Raised Catholic, he visited several denominations to no avail. It was on the advice of a friend who thought he might connect with The Episcopal Church that he explored St. Stephen’s, Oxford, one Sunday morning.
As he ascended the steps at the 8 a.m. service, he was greeted by David and Frances Matthews, who wished him good morning, said they hadn’t seen him before and asked if he usually attended the later service. When Broyal admitted to being a first-time visitor, they offered a welcome, literally opened the church doors for him, got him a bulletin and offered to sit with him if he wanted company or someone to guide him through his first Episcopal service. Broyal accepted.
The welcome continued after church and again the next week when he attended the 10 a.m. service. As he returned again and again, parishioners continued to make sure Broyal was invited to be a part of church life both at and outside of services. The invitations were extended without pressure to accept, and he saw they were genuinely put forward in the interest of building a relationship.
“I felt really embraced by the church,” said Broyal. “After 40 years, I’d finally found my church home.”
[Jerry Broyal with David and Frances Matthews, who first welcomed him to St. Stephen's, Oxford.]
“EMBARRASINGLY SIMPLE.”
Broyal’s experience is a textbook example of Invite.Welcome.Connect in action. But it didn’t happen by accident.
The tenets of Invite.Welcome.Connect resonated with the leadership and parishioners of St. Stephen’s as soon as program founder Mary Parmer’s convention presentation was brought back and shared. They saw quickly a few areas within the church that could use improvement. From there, said the Rev. Jamie Pahl, rector of St. Stephen’s, “what we did was almost embarrassingly simple.”
Leadership used several video segments from the Invite.Welcome.Connect website and presented them at a meeting to which the entire congregation was invited. They stopped along the way to discuss segments and review how the subjects were implemented at St. Stephen’s. How was the church inviting? Welcoming? Connecting?
“It incited a lot of conversation,” said Pahl.
The conversation led to action. Welcome materials were redesigned to be less informational and more invitational. Newcomers invited to attend the post-service and extremely popular coffee hour are accompanied by a greeter to make sure introductions are made without the newcomer being overwhelmed. Goodie bags are given as gifts before newcomers depart. The church continued its long-standing policy of offering access to the church sanctuary 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
“In some ways, it’s been more of an awareness,” said Pahl. He encourages congregations to utilize the Invite.Welcome.Connect resources available to them and “create conversation about where you stand and want to be.” Create an atmosphere folks want to be a part of, and understand it must be genuine and will likely not happen overnight, as true relationship building is a progressive process.
The time and effort is worth it, and what St. Stephen’s has created in Oxford has proven to be rewarding and sustaining. The church embraced the facets of Invite.Welcome.Connect not as pieces of a program to be checked off a list, but instead as guidelines for a way of life in which we’re all called to engage.
“We want folks to say ‘that church made me feel so welcome, they were so friendly and they have a good time with each other’” said Pahl. “We are actually living what we say.”
Christine McTaggart is the communications director for the Diocese of North Carolina.
Tags: North Carolina Disciple
