Disciple: It’s Not a Gimmick. It’s Church.
How two churches are connecting young adults to their faith
By Summerlee Walter
Unlike the rest of The Episcopal Church, the congregation of THEO in Tarboro is at its largest during the summer months. A ministry for young adults — some in college, others a decade or so older — THEO swells when college students return home.
Young adult ministry like this, though, is upsetting traditional expectations of how the life of the church works and what faithfulness looks like. Long an area of occasional consternation in congregational ministry, ministry to young adults is increasingly looking like, well, just ministry as Episcopal institutions deal with the rise of the nones, a decreased social expectation of church attendance and increasingly busy family schedules.
This is not an article about pub theology, even though the two ministries highlighted below both meet in bars. This is an article about healthy, faithful, curious Christian communities meeting outside of church walls. This is an article about churches meeting particular groups of people where they are, both literally and figuratively. Above all, this is an article about two priests doing what churches increasingly need to do in order to reach any demographic in their communities: reconsider old ways of doing ministry and be open to the possibility of what church might look like today and in the future.
THEO
The Rev. Janey Wilson started THEO while she was the associate for pastoral care and college ministry at Christ Church Cathedral in Lexington, Kentucky. Recent graduates of the University of Lexington and Transylvania University who had been involved in campus ministry were looking for a way to stay connected to a faith community. They just weren’t looking for church.
The group began with three people — Wilson, her young adult son, Erik, and another student — at an Irish pub in Lexington and grew to a dozen or so by the time Wilson left for Tarboro. (The Rev. Joe Mitchell, now rector of Good Shepherd, Asheboro, followed Wilson in that position and grew the ministry even larger.)
At Calvary, Tarboro, Wilson was inspired by the church’s organist (and director of music and youth ministry), Chris Pharo, to begin something similar. Pharo, Wilson and Wilson’s husband, Shannon, who also has long campus ministry experience, started meeting with interested young adults at an underground pub on Thursday nights, two hours before the pub hosted trivia. The timing was purposeful; lots of young adults in Tarboro attended the weekly trivia competition, so Wilson went where the young adults were. After the pub closed down, the group shifted to Tarboro Brewing Company. Regardless of location, Wilson has one rule: the conversations can range to the group’s personal lives, politics, current events or pretty much anything else, but the group must discuss God once during the conversation.
The young adults are connected to Calvary in some way — many attend church during Lent, Christmas and Easter or sing in the church’s choir — but THEO is their main congregation, and they are faithful in their attendance. THEO participants take their commitment to their congregation so strongly, in fact, that as Calvary recently went through the RenewalWorks process, all of them took the survey. About half of that congregation also attend Calvary’s annual meeting, and they followed the Diocese’s Episcopal election with great interest, watching recorded town halls and Whistle Stops. Young adults from the Presbyterian Church also sometimes sit with the group, and people are free to arrive early or late, to come and go as they please. During the summer, half the group walks up the block to get ice cream, which allows more intimate conversations to emerge.
The Wilsons, Pharo, the Rev. Louise Anderson and her husband, Sammy, and other young(-ish) adult couples take turns helping to facilitate the conversation. Their presence is important to the community’s functioning.
“Sometimes young adults have strained relationships with parents or bosses, but to be able to be in a place where community wisdom can help you work something out is helpful,” Wilson explained.
PUB THEOLOGY
The Rev. Robert Fruehwirth inherited a young adult group when he came to St. Michael’s, Raleigh, as the associate rector in May 2016. The mailing list included 60 or so emails, and 25 people would come to a major event like a Christmas party. During a planning meeting with some of the cohort, two predominant themes emerged: the need for social connection and a desire for “light-handed theological discussion” that feels authentic.
Fruehwirth decided to give pub theology a try. He called a local brewery recommended by a young adult parishioner, and the manager was excited to have the group meet in their space. Fruehwirth sent out the word via the mailing list and Facebook, and 10 people gathered for the inaugural meeting. One person had never before attended anything associated with St. Michael’s but had connected with the church via the young adult Facebook group.
The group met twice during December 2017. The first time, they worked through the day’s propers using the practice of lectio divina, a Benedictine practice of scriptural reading, meditation and prayer. The next time, by popular demand, the group explored the Book of Common Prayer, discussing both its history and how they might use it in their own worship lives.
“It’s a chance to speak authentically about how we live our Christian life that has a special kind of authority because it’s not coming through the going-to-church filter,” Fruehwirth said.
WHAT WORKS
According to Wilson, members of THEO’s congregation aren’t there for the food or the beer, per se, but the sense of fellowship gathering over a meal and a beverage — “breaking bread,” she calls it — is crucial.
“The food makes the conversation less intense and more joyful,” she said. The feeling of freedom the brewery setting engenders, the lack of judgment in the space, allows those who attend to engage in spirited but safe conversations.
The casualness of the meeting space is also helpful to accommodating those with young children. Both Wilson’s and Fruehwirth’s groups meet in locations that are family-friendly, despite being beer-forward. Fruehwirth, who resided in England before coming to St. Michael’s, compares it to the English model of a pub as a meeting place, “which is completely family friendly. It’s a coffee house with beer.”
He emphasizes that those who attend a gathering like pub theology aren’t just looking for a drink but are looking for answers to a question fundamental to the Christian faith: “How do we live our Christian life in our world, now, at a very simple level?”
TIPS FOR BUILDING A YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY
From Brittany Love, Diocesan young adult missioner
Relationships are paramount, so be community-focused. For many young adults, it’s difficult to meet people after high school or college graduation when work becomes the primary focus.
Gather people where they already gather. While a bar, pub or brewery is certainly one option, coffee houses and restaurants are also popular, casual gathering places. If the meeting place itself is low maintenance and comfortable, it’s easier to ask people to engage deeply and honestly.
Different models of young adult ministry will work in different contexts, but having a strong leadership team with an invested theological point person — someone who is comfortable exploring difficult questions and has the knowledge to explain why church functions the way it does — is crucial.
Try not to get too caught up on the difference between young adults with children and young adults without children (although be aware of scheduling concerns). Formation is formation, and parents still need to be fed spiritually for their own development before they form their children.
Contact Brittany Love for help exploring ways your congregation can reach and engage young adults in your community.
Summerlee Walter is the communications coordinator for the Diocese of North Carolina.
