Deacon Reflection: An Early Call and Exploring the Answer

By The Rev. Rebecca Yarbrough

When I was a very little girl, maybe three years old, my mother introduced me to St. Thérèse of Lisieux through some floppy children’s books. I was entranced—the story started with a tiny Thérèse my age, who made a decision to “love God best,” and ended with Thérèse as a young nun. It painted a picture of somebody real, somebody just like me, who decided to give her life to God in ways small and large. I think that might have been the beginning of call—I wanted to be a nun for most of my youth, until I met David Yarbrough the first day of high school. That sort of put a quick end to the nun bit! 

It took years of reading and questioning, trying out different ways to serve in the Roman Catholic and then in The Episcopal Church, before I met a deacon. By that time, I was a regional planner, a PTA and swim mom, and had so much going on that “call” seemed like ancient history. But the Rev. Dr. Carter Lofton at Holy Comforter, Charlotte, was a ball of fire—always exhorting us to go and do and challenge, wherever there were those in need or those for whom “the system” wasn’t working.  I’d never been able to picture myself a female priest, but this deacon…hmmm. So finally I took the plunge, sure I’d never actually be ordained. Then, during the “interview weekend” with the Commission on Ministry, one of its members handed me a little card – it contained a quote from St. Thérèse! June 14, 2018 marks the 10th anniversary of my ordination by the Most Rev. Michael Curry.  

It has been an amazing adventure, taking me places and into situations I could never have imagined:  organizing rebuilding trips to Bay St. Louis and Waveland after Hurricane Katrina; mission trips to Costa Rica and working on vestry development with clergy and lay leaders from there and here; working with St. Alban’s incredible Outreach Team to move to hands-on ministries and collaboration with community organizations, expanding domestic violence and homelessness services and starting La Escuelita San Alban; being part of the organizing team for Galilee Ministries of East Charlotte, an incredible Beloved Community that transcends races, faiths and languages. I’ve hugged a tearful elderly woman late one Christmas Eve as we stood in her apartment in public housing, had coffee and  wonderful conversation with a Salvadoran seminarian although we weren’t fluent in each other’s language, taught friends to use power tools in Waveland, and ministered to a dying-too-young parishioner. Along the way, I’ve made lots of mistakes but learned two very important lessons:

• First, ministry is a team sport. It’s never felt so much about my own personal ministry as it has helping others discover their gifts and facilitating their using them—empowering others to make a difference by offering God and God’s people the gifts of themselves.
  
  
• Second, if you feel a nudge about the diaconate that’s continual and pesky and feels impossible, follow up on it! You’ll find that letting go and giving yourself to God’s call is the most incredible blessing! For me, it seemed like I had become who I really am, and it’s a constant amazement that God has found ways to use all the gifts and skills I developed over the years to help make a difference, and to help others make a difference.

St. Thérèse and St. Francis were right:  It IS in giving that we receive!