CAMINANDO WITH JESUS: Don't Leave Me

“But he turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan!'”

Wow! That’s harsh! How could Jesus say these words to his loyal disciple, the man who had just professed Jesus as the Messiah? Jesus has transformed Peter’s life, and Peter loves him as teacher, leader and friend. And now -- now Jesus is telling Peter that not only is life going to change, not only will Jesus suffer, but he is going to die.

No wonder Peter reacted with words of rebuke! He couldn’t understand what Jesus meant when he said he would rise again. No one would know what those words meant until after the resurrection. All Peter could hear was Jesus saying that he was going to be killed. Peter’s human mind could only grasp this world, not the world to come.

Peter couldn’t know God’s plan. He couldn’t know that resurrection and salvation were promised. When Jesus said to Peter, "You are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things," Jesus was right. Peter was thinking with the limited mind of a human. All Peter could think was what any human would think when hearing such awful news.

But still, “Get behind me, Satan?" Let’s face it: Peter and the other disciples were pretty habitually blind to God’s purposes. In response, Jesus would just shake his head and say, you have ears but do not hear, eyes but do not see. Why, then, at this moment, just after Peter’s great confession of Jesus’ divinity, did Jesus refer to Peter as Satan, the tempter?

Maybe this is heretical, but I think Jesus responded as he did because Jesus was tempted by Peter’s words. Not, as the commentaries would have it, by a suggestion that Jesus act like an anointed king. But rather by Peter’s heartbroken cry that Jesus not to walk the path to Golgotha.

What could be more powerful, more tempting, more persuasive than a cry from the heart spoken out of love: “Don’t leave me!”

Anyone who has faced the impending death of a loved one knows how that cry wells up from inside, from the very depths of our being: “You can’t die. Don’t leave me!”

Peter’s rebuke to Jesus, coming from the heart of one who loves Jesus, and whom Jesus loves, must have had such power. Facing the brutal reality of the path he had before him, how could Jesus not be tempted to stay with those who loved him?

How could he not want to answer that cry with, “Hush … it’ll be all right. I’m not going anywhere.”

But Jesus couldn’t stay. The Son of God had his feet set on a different path, one that would lead inevitably to the Cross. Perhaps Jesus shoved Peter’s words behind him with such vehemence because only love could tempt him from his path.

I wonder how many times after this encounter Peter struggled with the temptation to try, out of love, to pull Jesus from the path set before him. How many times did he bite his tongue when what he really wanted to say was, “No, don’t leave me!” How many times did Peter wrestle with his own fear and doubt, his own desire to go back to the way things were.

I find hope in wonderings such as these, because I know that, despite setbacks and denials, Peter always found his way back to doing God’s will. Despite being rebuked by Jesus, even knowing the high cost of discipleship, Peter nevertheless became the rock upon which the church was founded. In the end, Peter’s mind was set on divine things, and on his path he always followed Jesus.

Years ago, as I upended my settled life to follow a call to ministry, there were friends and family who tried to bring me back. “How can you do this? This will change everything!” And during the difficult years of discernment and seminary, I sometimes felt tempted to agree. Each time, however, I remembered this Gospel. No, I didn’t call anyone Satan (not out loud anyway!), but I did put the temptation behind me, knowing that however loving the concerns might be, they were calling me from the right path.

Following Jesus is not always simple or easy, especially in this time of turmoil when it can be hard to hold on to Gospel values. There will likely be voices that call each of us in another direction. But I pray we will all continue to remember Peter and, even if we slip, always return and once more walk in the way of the Lord.