CAMINANDO WITH JESUS: Blinded by the Light

The Sixth Sunday after the Epiphany | February 16, 2020

By the Rev. Sara Ardrey-Graves

CAMINANDO WITH JESUS is a series of reflections on the Sunday Gospel by clergy and laity from across the Diocese.

Sign up to receive CAMINANDO WITH JESUS in your inbox each Wednesday.

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

“Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”

- Matthew 5:21-37

In Epiphany, we talk a lot about light. It all starts with the star, with the Wise Men following the star that leads them to Jesus. Last week we heard about Jesus himself being the light, too, at his presentation in the temple when Simeon sees Jesus and proclaims that he is the Light to enlighten all the nations. This is a season of celebrating the light. We sing songs about “I want to walk as a child of the light, I want to follow Jesus.” There’s a sense that the light of Christ is nothing but beautiful and soft and welcoming.

But this is not always the case. Light can be blinding! It is powerful, and uncomfortable, and even painful. Light stops you in your tracks. I think the best example of being blinded, something we all have experienced, is when you’re a child, fast asleep, warm in your bed, and someone comes in the room and says, “Get up, rise and shine, time to start the day!” And then they turn on the light, that awful, glaring, sudden light. And there is nothing more painful than that kind of light, bursting you from your sleep, pushing you out of the bed. Light doesn’t just illuminate; light invades.

In today’s passage from Matthew, Jesus is exposing human sin to the light, and it is painful because no one is left unexposed. If you’ve ever broken a vow and ended a relationship. If you’ve ever been angry with a friend. If you’ve ever spoken a curse word. If you’ve ever felt lust for someone. No one is exempt from Jesus’ sight. He is preaching a blinding, exposing sermon for his listeners.

If we are truly honest with ourselves - really, truly honest - we probably would prefer to stay in the dark, and not just when we want to sleep in, but when we are confronted with feeing personally exposed. We like our darknesses. We create spaces to protect the things we don’t want the world to see. We cling to these places because we think if we are not exposed, we can hide and feel safe. And we’ve all got pieces of ourselves we’d rather the world didn’t see, qualities that are not so flattering. Maybe you can be a little aggressive sometimes, a little slow to forgive or a little suspicious of other people. Maybe you’re overly dependent on the opinions other people, and you’re worried that people won’t like you or that you’ll be left out. Maybe you’re aware you’re a bit judgmental, a bit critical, and you don’t want the world to think of you as mean-spirited and harsh. These parts of your character aren’t a flattering view. It’s not what you want the world to see. It’s not what you want God to see.

There is a lie out there in popular culture that you have to be perfect in order to follow Jesus, and, friends, it is just not true. There is a lie that says “you need to get your life together, follow the rules, be nicer, be more holy, be good… then, then, you’re a Christian. Then, you can follow Jesus.” That is a fantastic lie. It pervades our culture and makes us compare ourselves against each other, especially when we come to church. This lie makes us believe that the journey with Jesus is like belonging to a club of like-minded, self-satisfied people who have it all together, when, in fact, the journey to which Jesus calls us is one of being seen, of having a bright light to shine on both your blessedness and brokenness as a child of God. The journey of discipleship is one of stepping into the light. What Jesus wants most is to live in the world through your particular life, and that includes whatever you’ve been through, whatever scars you carry and whatever limitations you have. All the things you want to shove aside and leave in the dark, God wants to use to show his grace to the rest of the world.

Consider what it might be like to embrace the glaring light of God’s grace. Instead of squinting and shielding your face, try welcoming the chance to be seen by God, in all your faults and failings. When you most want to hide under the covers and shut your eyes, think about the grace that comes with being totally seen, totally vulnerable before God. And then, trust that God’s love for you is big enough to accept you as you are. God’s great love for will always cover all of your blessedness and your brokenness, no matter how blinding it may sometimes seem.

The Rev. Sara Ardrey-Graves is the associate rector of St. Paul’s, Winston-Salem.