GUIDELINES FOR LEAVE-TAKING

• Inform the bishop in writing of your leaving and the date of your last service.
• Notify the wardens (in person) and with the wardens notify the vestry of your decision to leave.
• The canons require the vestry to give formal consent of your resignation.
• The canons require the wardens to notify the bishop in writing that the parish is without a priest.
• With the wardens, send a letter to the congregation telling them that you are ending your pastoral relationship with the parish and expressing your gratitude for your mutual ministry.
• With the vestry, clarify the terms of unused leave or vacation time, plans for continuing contributions into the Church Pension Fund and arrangements for insurance coverage.
• Notify the Church Pension Fund, securing the proper forms, if you are retiring. The bishop’s signed approval is required for retirement.
• Plan a ritual ending of your pastoral relationship within the context of worship. Refer to the Book of Occasional Services for suggestions.
• Plan an ending with parish organizations and staff.

Assist the wardens with their writing a letter to the congregation that outlines your plan for leaving and assuring them that the congregation will have support and guidance from the diocesan staff through the transition.

Develop an agreement with the vestry and let the congregation know, in writing, that:

• you value their friendship,
• after you leave, you will no longer be able to function as their pastor or priest;
• it no longer will be your role to officiate at their baptisms, weddings and funerals;
• you will be withdrawing from social interaction and and other parts of the “life of the congregation,” including social media, so the congregation can move forward; and
• you will be absent from the life of the congregation for at lease one year after the arrival of your successor, after which you may come back only at the invitation of your successors (interim and next vicar/rector), when you will attend as their former pastor.

Notify local ecumenical groups or clergy associations that you are leaving and resign from positions you hold in community organizations.

• Schedule an exit interview with the transition officer and a mutual review of ministry with the vestry and parish leaders.
• List all your current responsibilities, assigning a hand off date and designating a specific person to take up each task.
• With the wardens, review all leadership positions and clarify roles and responsibilities.
• Update job descriptions for paid staff.
• Meet privately with individuals with whom there may have been tension or conflict.
• Be clear about any commitments (baptisms, weddings, funerals) you have scheduled for immediately after your leavetaking date.

• Arrange for change of address and mail forwarding.
• After your last day, do not return to the office to check for mail, email or phone messages.
• In all cases, the responsibility belongs to clergy leaving to make clear that the pastoral relationship has ended.
• Never be involved with the search process, including giving names or offering opinions about candidates.
• Avoid getting triangulated with members of the congregation and your successor.
• Be clear that it is not appropriate for you to discuss any parish business after you leave.
• If you continue to live in the community, do all in your power to allow the next priest to minister as if you did not live there.
• Make plans to worship with another congregation.
• In the absence of a rector or interim pastor, the wardens are canonically responsible for the worship, finance, property and administration of the parish.
• Remember, you have no official or canonical role in the parish you leave and your priestly, pastoral and administrative functions end on the effective date of your retirement or resignation.
• Be clear that your spouse or partner (and your children) will be leaving and no longer involved in the life of the congregation.
• Remove yourself from all pastoral conversations with your former parishioners via social media: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.
• When it comes to parishioners and members of the church staff, every relationship you have is fundamentally pastoral. Parishioners’ feelings of “friendship” toward you are entangled with their feelings for you as their priest and can be easily confused. It is your responsibility to know where the appropriate boundary is and to maintain it.
• Be cordial with parishioners and church staff should you see them around town. Also be clear that you must distance yourself from parishioners so they might bond with their new priest.
• The best practice is to stop all social engagement with parishioners and church staff for at least one year after the arrival of your successor.
• When you are aware that a boundary is unclear, contact the bishop or canon for advice.

• Weese, Carolyn and Crabtree, Russell. The Elephant in the Board Room. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2004.
• White, Edward A. Saying Good-bye: A Time for Growth for Congregations and Pastors. Alban Institute, Inc., 1994.
• Church Pension Group